The Audacity to Gain Weight

As a night shift worker often at her desk, I put on some weight over the span of a year. Also, I found my lipids were a little above the ideal, which isn't a good sign for a 26 year old.

The comments from members of my family were akin to verbal butchery. My weight was discussed in family dinners and advice on how I could drop it. At any social event, I was surrounded by continuous reminders of my weight, how I look "healthy" in the desi sense. How I used to be so thin. 

"You were so pretty and thin." 

"Your face looks so swollen" 

"Girls look prettier when they are thin" 

Now that I am married, the comments were further supplemented: "Lose the weight, otherwise you will swell up when you get pregnant" "Phool jao gi". Female members of my family take the further responsibility of holding my belly or other parts to emphasize the degradation of my figure. 

Ironically I worked in an office for Obesity and Diabetes. Coming across patient profiles, I saw BMIs and eating habits similar to mine. I read how one woman had a relationship breakdown, and starting eating too many sweets- a way to numb her sense of loss.

 Another patient reported; she was unable to take out the time for exercise with three kids, a job, and household chores. Nearing menopause, many found themselves unable to lose the extra belly fat, and experienced lethargy. They were advised to focus on muscle gain, increase protein intake and follow a healthy diet- and prioritize the diet over scale readings. As a general standard, losing 2kgs a month, or less - while cutting back on sugar and fried foods was adequate.   This, and at least 30 minutes of exercise.

Years ago when I was skinnier, I was also broke, and trusted easily. The years had alloted me some extra pounds, and perhaps some wisdom. My chubby being, a target of criticism was still responsible for making an income, earning my dignity and some freedom. I had hands that could write and a mind that could bring joy.

In a society obsessed with losing weight, I wanted to gain muscle, strength, and be able to run-without giving myself a heart attack. I wanted to be free.